Through the years, I've learned many lessons and experienced lots of heartache. I know God allowed it to happen in order to help me to grow into the person He wants me to be. He is still not finished with me, a lot of fine tuning. I have a bad habit of turning a deaf ear when He wants me to do something that I think I can't do. I ask him, "Me? Don't you think someone else will do a much better job than me? Why me Lord?" I've missed so many blessings because of turning a deaf ear. There are also times when I do get fired up and my temper flares, when I should be quiet and listening for His instructions. I jump the gun and later think, I could have handled that a little different.
Don't underestimate the power of Satan and the power he can have over us. Yes, God has to allow it because Satan can not touch us without God's consent. It's part of our trials that God allows it. It's necessary that we build up this resistance against Satan or it will be easy for us to slip in his hands without our knowing. You have to remember because of Satan, we have phrases like "Silver Fox, Sly Devil and etc." He is the King of evil. When I think of the word evil, what comes to mind is the stink of rot, cold and darkness. Satan makes anything bad for you look beautiful, so please be careful. He is the one creature that can squeeze himself in your mind and make you think of things about yourself or someone else that is so rotten and disgusting that it brings shivers down my spine. How do I know? I've been there. Yes, I've sunk deep into the pits of self pity and self righteousness many many times in my life. It's not a party, I'll tell you right now. Satan's seduction is so slick and quick that you turn around and ask yourself "where am I and how did I get here?" With God's help and asking his blessing of perseverance for me, I have noticed the signs when Satan tries to find holes of weakness within my heart. This last time, I could tell almost immediately. Jesus instructs us to resist the devil and all of his devices. "Submit yourselves, then to God; Resist the devil and he will flee you." James 4:7 NIV. I've found peace in my heart every time that I tell the devil to leave me in the name of Jesus Christ. I pray it will work for you as well. Satan is out of time and he is ever wanting right now. More than ever, he is searching for weak spots in God's children. Be careful because he will find them, no doubt. When he finds those holes of weakness, he will make you feel like you have no self worth. You are better off dead than alive. You are wasting space because you'll never be good enough. Some one else could raise your children a whole lot better than you because you are terrible at it. You'll never be pretty enough, for boys to ask you out on a date. You'll never get married or have a family of your own because you've done too much wrong to make anything right again. She is such a liar and she is making my life a living hell. Why does everyone hate me? Does any of this sound familiar? Any negative thought or feeling about you or someone else is nothing but Satan getting in your mind and heart. Yes, there are those mindless people that attribute to these thoughts that might actually deserve a reaction from you. But this is Satan giving you these thoughts and actions. RESIST! Instead, tell Satan to get lost, ask God for forgiveness and forgive those that have done you wrong. "But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." Matthew 6:15 NIV. "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. " Luke 6:37.
Last night, I received a very shocking and disturbing phone call from a sweet lady that I'm grateful to still call my friend after 30+ years. She had a hard time choking out the words herself that a good friend from school passed away yesterday. I was stunned especially when I found out that she took her life before she had really lived. LeeAnn had everything in front of her. A loving and supportive family. A baraj of friends. She was top of our class and had a great future ahead of her, as far as I know. I can't remember what line of business she was in, but I do know that it included a lot of traveling and moving from place to place. She had a great personality and was a wonderful public speaker. In so many way, I was jealous of her in school. Being social was so easy for her like breathing. For me, I was a scary cat all the time. I was so shy, people that didn't know me thought I was a snob. I'm still working on being more social. In high school, we had our little group of Future Business Leaders of America, which included LeeAnn. We had so much fun and made some terrific memories on our FBLA trips. Like me, she's faced her demons. I've been asking myself last night and this morning, how could such a strong and vibrate woman allow Satan to come inside and destroy her in such a manner? I suppose she just couldn't handle it anymore and felt this was the only way out. I guess I really shouldn't ask these questions. God gave us this precious gift called life. He expects that we will screw it up, but He is always there to heal us and make us new again. God gave us this life and He should be the only one to say when it is time to go home. Now I've only seen LeeAnn once since our high school graduation. I don't know what has been going on in her life, other than through Facebook. I do believe in my heart that LeeAnn was a Christian and is with Jesus Christ right now. I'm thankful that I have these wonderful memories of LeeAnn because this way, she'll always live on in my life. She was a great friend growing up. She had the biggest smile and she loved to laugh. She was a true blonde, so funny. Now when I think of her, I will always see that beautiful smile looking back at me. I ask you to please keep her family in your prayers as they go through this very sorrowful time.
~ Goodbye My Friend, LeeAnn ~
~ I love you and will miss you! ~